News / 'You Snooze While We Dooze' service set to hit the B2C 'sweet spot'

The trend of micro-fulfilment logistics to serve urban consumers in the e-commerce sector took a new twist this week after the latest supply chain start-up out of Silicon Valley unveiled a new platform to deliver tiny goods.

Inspired by the hit 1980s children’s TV show Fraggle Rock, new tech from US firm Woozer Doozer aims to capture the emerging supply chains needed to support the distribution of “shrinkflated” products.

While Amazon has been trialling autonomous delivery robots to operate on the streets of US cities, Woozer Doozer has developed a fleet of electrically-powered tiny delivery trucks with a maximum safe working load of 50 grams, operated by little green robots.

Woozer Doozer founder and chief furball Splentchley Thicket explained: “It is clear that everything is getting smaller, and we’re responding to that growing segment of the B2C market by developing a new delivery system that maximises the efficiencies of tiny goods distribution.

“Research has shown that shrinkflation is a real thing – production input costs have gone up, while consumers are being hit by rising energy costs and other cost-of-living increases, and so, rather than hike prices to maintain profit margins, retailers have downsized the goods while maintaining prices, thus retaining margins.

“Our tiny delivery vehicles make the products look really big, so consumers don’t realise they’re getting less for their money; they actually think they’re getting more – we’ve made the old adage that ‘less is more’ true, more or less, in the physical sense.”

According to the BBC, the weight of a Snickers chocolate bar has dropped from 58g to 48g, while Mars bars have gone from 58g to 51g.

“We expect the weight of Mars bars to reduce further,” Mr Thicket added, “after all, everything is getting smaller, even Dutch people, which puts Woozer Doozer in a real sweet spot.”

And he added that the company planned to offer retailers the option for 24/7 deliveries: “We call this the ‘You Snooze While We Dooze’ service.”

There have been problems however. One Woozer Doozer source revealed to The Loadstar: “The first Doozers we developed were brown, but they kept getting attacked by neighbourhood cats.

“It’s a shocking thing to see your creation, which cost millions of dollars and years to develop through cutting-edge proprietary technology, being batted between some moggy’s paws like a ping-pong ball.

“Once we coloured them green, the cats were far more circumspect – dogs can still be a problem, because they’re so stupid and some of them just eat anything, but mostly they are on leads.”