Calling all people in marketing, consultancy or PR; those who have done ‘media training’ or who write corporate documents. Please read this excellent article by Lucy Kellaway of the UK’s Financial Times. (You may not all be able to access it, as the FT is behind a paywall – but do try. If not, let us know and we can help.) It is a plea to companies to stop talking rubbish. We all know that corporates like to obfuscate, to draw attention from vulnerabilities and weaknesses. But there is simply no excuse for some of the ‘BS’ that is put out. Some is pretty obvious: “we are focused 1,000,000%”. But others are far, far worse. Like Starbucks, Ms Kellaway notes. Apparently, the coffee shop delivers “an immersive, ultra-premium, coffee-forward experience”. Seriously? My favourite, from Burberry, goes thus: “In the wholesale channel, Burberry exited doors not aligned with brand status and invested in presentation through both enhanced assortments and dedicated, customised real estate in key doors.”
There are more brilliant examples: “You have to appreciate that the milestones we have set in these swim lanes provide a road map for this flow chart. When we get to toll gates, we’ll assess where you sit in the waterfall . . . ”
There is a lesson for all corporates here. Stop talking complete tosh. The Loadstar is going to compile a list of the biggest offenders in freight and logistics – we’ll report back.
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