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Sick of mounds of paper submerging their desks into shapeless middens, the air cargo industry’s retiring leaders have inaugurated the Global Roving Universal Mens Paperless Association, (Grumpa), to attempt to push ahead with the introduction of e-freight.

The new association, which will release TIACA, IATA, GACAG and FIATA from their duties of introducing e-freight, will see high-profile roving ambassadors visit each airline, forwarder and Customs office in turn, until every organisation around the world has introduced e-Cargo.

It is expected that e-freight will, through this methodological approach, be introduced into the industry by 2050.

“This is a far more realistic target,” said Earnest Vends, the association’s new secretary. “There were simply not enough associations to be able to push through e-freight in the past.

“Now I can ensure that the industry introduces e-freight, office by office, around the world. Finally, then, e-freight will be real and then we can focus on other targets.”

The news was welcomed by the industry. Dave Bigdream, chief of Bangkok Food Services, said: “Finally, someone is taking in hand the ridiculous situation we are in.

“Airlines and forwarders don’t have a clue, and have been too slow to modernise the industry. If only the whole thing had been left to handlers, it would have been fixed by now. But no-one listens to bloody handlers – even though there would be no air cargo industry without us.”

Mr Mannerme, a recent retiree from the air cargo industry added: “Retirement has been fun so far, but I know I’ve got work to do. I can’t rest until the industry has managed to bring itself into the 21st century. I will personally be removing document pouches from aircraft until there are none left. Even if I have to do it secretly.”

The association will be launched this morning, and quite possibly end this afternoon.

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  • Bart Jan Haasbeek

    April 01, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    2050 will take too long.
    April 1st 2049 should be doable 😉

  • Ajay B. Pande

    April 01, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    Nice try, but the name Global Roving Universal Mens Paperless Association, (Grumpa)is dead giveaway. I think, it perhaps has something to do with the fact that it happens to the 1st of April today…

    Oh, by the way, did you hear about the recent high profile retirees from air cargo getting together to start a new all cargo airline which took to the skies today?

    Cheers!

  • Lothar Moehle

    April 01, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    Alex, nice try for April fools day………….

  • Graham Pickup

    April 01, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    Happy April Fools day to you too!

  • Jo lloyd

    April 01, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    Love it!! That brightened my day, I think the name is inspired… 🙂

  • Dave Bigdream

    April 02, 2014 at 3:09 am

    Very good April Fools from Alex.
    Scary thing is though she might actually be proved right!!!!!